


A Tough Act to Follow

by Canaan



Series: How It Could Have Happened [26]
Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Angst, Character Study, F/M, Introspection, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-29
Updated: 2011-04-29
Packaged: 2017-10-18 19:33:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/192468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Canaan/pseuds/Canaan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The changing face of Rose Tyler while stranded in a parallel universe.  Canon-compliant, and therefore angsty.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rose

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little introspective dribble that came to me in the shower. Not shippey, but there's implied previous OT3. Un-beta'd.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own them, I'm just haunted by them.

_"Well, there was this one guy. I traveled with him for awhile. But he was a tough act to follow."_  
\--Sarah Jane Smith

 

The only thing worse than not being able to say goodbye was having said it.

In the first days after the separation, she'd screamed and cried. She'd railed at Pete for pulling her out of her universe and then sobbed apologies. She'd spent days mourning, sleeping too much and never lifting the blinds. Then she'd remembered that she was Rose Tyler, who'd spoken to alien invasion fleets and held the Time Vortex in her mind. The Doctor only took the best. She started looking for a way back to him, because the impossible could go hang where the Doctor was concerned.

When he'd told her goodbye, she knew it was really over. The Doctor was giving up on her. She put on the brave face she'd learned in this universe and told him the truth, same as she'd done when she thought the Dalek was going to kill her in Utah. Then they'd gone home from Bad Wolf Bay, and she'd just gone numb. The Doctor'd told her to have a fantastic life, but how could she?

The Torchwood job had come through, and she'd taken it, because having something to do was better than sitting feeling sorry for herself. With Torchwood, she'd found other people who understood that there was more out there than chips and telly--other people who knew how to run.

They started working on the dimension cannon, but Rose knew it was useless--well, for getting her back to the Doctor, anyway. Didn't mean there mightn't be some worth in it. Trying to find anyone to measure up to the Doctor was hopeless, too, but she thought maybe she should find someone like Captain Jack. She'd loved him differently, but she'd loved him. It wouldn't be a bad thing to go through life with someone a bit like Jack Harkness.

Only no one was quite right, and nothing ever worked. And instead of finding someone like Jack, she found she'd _become_ Jack. Her mother couldn't bear to hear about the risks she took with Torchwood, and she couldn't do the job and be alone in her head at the end of the day. She'd go mad. So instead of finding someone to live her life with, she found that it was important to be with the people who understood her life. She learned that it was no bad thing to find comfort in a co-worker's arms or a friend's bed after seeing some fresh horror.

It seemed she'd lost her Doctor so very long ago, and Jack even longer. She might not be in love with the lovers in her bed, but when you'd just had a day when you were lucky _anybody_ lived, it was important to wake up with a body beside you that was warm and breathing and alive. It wasn't a fantastic life, but it was hers, and she could live it, and most days it was enough.

Then, one dismal, rainy afternoon, the dimension cannon started working.


	2. Mickey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone asked if there was more to this, and Mickey has been brooding about it for awhile. Aibhinn very graciously beta'd.
> 
> Disclaimer: They're not mine, I'm just haunted by them.

Rose was already in the staff room when I showed up for work in the morning. She was wearing her spare clothes and sipping tea. Her hair was still damp. I poured myself a cup of coffee and leaned back against the wall. "Late night?" I asked. I didn't sound upset--I was just being a concerned friend. Some days, I even believed it, myself.

She smiled. "Late enough. Good, though. Christine fed me breakfast."

She'd gone home with Mark _and Christine? Both?_ I almost choked on my coffee. She didn't react, except to look at me over the brim of her cup with sad brown eyes. "Sorry," I muttered. "It's just, I didn't even know you liked girls."

Rose shrugged. "It's not like that." She sipped her tea.

That was all I got. Not just like it was no big deal--more like nothing was. As much as I'd missed her while the universes were sealed, I'd never have wanted her back like this. After the Doctor said goodbye to her, all the fire went out of Rose. She did her job, loved her brother . . . and some days, when she smiled it even touched her eyes. But nothing really moved her. "Then what is it like?" I said. "Rose, I've got to tell you: It's hard to watch. Half of me's your mate, that knows you're not happy and hates to see you that way, and anything that makes you less miserable's all right by me. But some of me's your ex-boyfriend, and I've got to tell you: Watchin' you sleep with everybody _but me_ . . . is kind of rough."

Her lips parted briefly before she shut her mouth on whatever she'd had to say. She sipped her tea.

"Sorry," I muttered. "I didn't mean it to come out like that."

She sighed. "'s all right, Mickey. You should've said something sooner. I don't want to hurt you. But it's like, you were my best mate, and then you were my boyfriend. And that day in Cardiff, you stopped bein' either and I didn't know how it happened." She studied the tea in her cup like she could read futures there. "One of the best things about bein' stuck in this universe is, I got my best mate back." She looked up and smiled a little, and it broke my heart. "I don't want to lose that, Mickey. Maybe it wouldn't happen like that again. But all I've got here is you and my family, and I don't want to risk losing you."

I swallowed and took a sip of my coffee, looking away. Best mates, yeah, once. But in Cardiff, I'd seen the truth. I wasn't really her best mate anymore, I was just the one in this universe. Maybe she was right, and maybe it was enough. But I knew, if she had a choice . . . it wouldn't be me who held that title. I looked back at her and lifted my cup. "To best mates," I said.

She grinned a little and raised her own. "To best mates," she agreed, and we drank.

"You know," I pointed out, "two years later, you still feel 'stuck' here."

Her grin faded a little. "Yeah. Suppose I do."

I swallowed. "Do somethin' for me, Rose," I said. "I know it's impossible, but your Doctor was an expert at impossible. If you ever have the chance, go back to him. You felt like you belonged," _with him_ "there."

She shook her head. "'s not possible."

I felt like shaking her, but I grinned, instead. "Promise me."

Because I'd rather lose my best mate to another universe than lose my best mate to a man I could never match, right here, in front of my eyes.

At least, that way, she'd be happy again.


	3. Jackie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last part, I think. It may feed into an AU someday, but right now, I feel like it says what needed saying. Beta'd by RobinC and Weatherwax, but I've tweaked some things since then--all mistakes are mine.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own them, I'm just haunted by them.

It didn't matter how busy Rose got with her job--she always made time to have tea with us on Saturdays. She said, once, that Tony was growing up so fast, she felt like if she missed tea he grew three centimeters before she saw him again. So when we reached the conservatory and there were only two place settings on the table, she had to know there was something off. "Where's Dad and Tony?" she asked, a frown I knew from the mirror wrinkling her forehead.

I passed her by and sat at the lovely little table. I'd got so used to nice things, I'd started to take them for granted. Imagine, taking money for granted after twenty years living in the Powell Estates! Now I had it, and it didn't seem to matter. The house was lovely, the table was lovely, and my daughter was lovely--but in some ways, she'd become a stranger to me. "Playing in the garden. They'll be up in a bit."

She looked at me like I was one of those aliens from her job and glanced at her chair.

"Oi, what are you expectin' from it, electric shock? Sit down, Rose." She sat, but she didn't look happy. Young miss didn't know what was going on--I watched her gaze drift out a window--or else, she thought she _did_ know, and didn't like it. There was probably something to that. I think Pete had tried to keep me from hearing; but there were always parties, and parties had gossip. I liked gossip much better when it didn't concern my daughter.

I poured tea for us both--no need to stand on ceremony when we were alone--and Rose nibbled at a biscuit with a far-away look on her face. "Are you thinkin' about him?" I asked. Her attention came back to me, fast. "Your Doctor?"

She shook her head with a sad little smile. "Wasn't," she said. She took a sip from her teacup, her hands looking no-nonsense against the fragile porcelain.

She kept her fingernails short, these days. When I'd asked, she'd said something about long nails and trigger guards. "Who, then?" I said. "I hear there's choices."

She sighed and just looked . . . tired. "Mum," she began, like she'd been waiting on this.

"Word gets around, Rose. I worry about you."

She broke the biscuit in half on her plate, but didn't touch it. "There's no one important."

"That's what worries me," I said. I put my tea down. "People talk, Rose, and there's a word they use for a woman who can't settle on one man."

She gave me angry eyes. It was the most life I'd seen out of her in a month, and it almost made me glad. I missed my Rose--the one who'd argue with me. This quiet, controlled young woman who came to visit once a week was more alien to me than the Doctor had ever been. "The whole time I was growin' up, _you_ never settled. You want to tell me what that word is, Mum? Say it, then. Go on."

She knew all the buttons to push. I found myself getting angry, even though I'd promised I wouldn't lose my temper. "That's different," I said. "It wasn't like that."

"Why not?" she said.

"Because there was only ever one at a time!" I put my tea down and it sloshed over the edge of the cup.

Rose watched the liquid drip into the white tablecloth. "So that's how it is, then?" she asked, softly. "There was only ever one man for you, Mum; we both know it. Pete. Either Pete." She folded her hands neatly in front of her and looked up at me with her eyes as full of grief as that day on a beach in Norway. "Those men in-between? They were just company. They kept you from being alone, and that's okay. Nothin' wrong with that."

I looked out the windows. I couldn't quite see around to where Pete was keeping Tony busy, but I didn't have to. They were both there with me, in my heart. "You really feel that way?" I asked this grown woman, who just happened to be my daughter.

She nodded, "'Course I do, Mum."

My heart broke. I swallowed against a lump in my throat. "You know what I think?" I whispered. "I think the word for you is 'honest.' More honest than I ever was."

"Mum," she said, gently. She stood up and started around the table toward me.

I shook my head to stop her. "No. You listen to me, Rose Tyler. You do something for me. If it ever happens--if that thing they're playing with can do it, can send you back to the Doctor--you do this for me: Go." I looked at her and refused to cry. "Go to him. Say goodbye if you can--if you have time. I'd hoped you'd find someone in this universe. I wanted that for you; but in the end, you're too much like your mum. I'd rather have you happy than have you _here_."

She put her arms around me and I hugged her back, tears starting to run down my face no matter how I bit my lip. I wasn't the only one; Rose's voice was thick with them when she said, "I love you, Mum."

I held her tighter. "I'm proud of you, Rose."


End file.
